By Jim TwoFeathers

The old man sits on the split log seat on an old cushion with an air humble kindness, yet with an erectness that speaks to you of his great power. His coal black eyes look straight ahead but you know he misses nothing. His long gray hair falls down his back in a great braid with two spotted eagle feathers tied at the top of the braid. On a thong of deer hide, a single closed eagle’s talon hangs around his neck. He wares an old embroidered jeans shirt and a faded pair of jeans. He has on a pair of worn moccasins beautifully beaded in an eastern woodland pattern. In his lap he holds a leather medicine bundle. Before him is a large group of Indians setting also on split log benches at the edge of a great dance circle.  In the middle of the circle a fire crackles. At his right sits his oldest daughter Shug, her husband William, their daughter Tracy and Grandmother Willow, his wife. To his Left sits his oldest son Bill and next to him sits the only white person there, a man named John.

The old man raises in one surprisingly swift movement for a man of his obvious years. Slowly raising the medicine bundle over his head he turns to the east and speaks the language of his ancestors in prayer.  Then he turns to the South still holding up the bundle and prays. Then to the west and prays. Then to the north and prays. Then holding the bundle straight up he prays to Father Sky. He then kneels down touching the bundle to the earth and prays to Earth Mother and then he holds the bundle just below his rib cage and prays to the Spirit Within. He stands there a moment and cradles the bundle like you would hold a baby. He then turns and walks to and stands in front of his grand daughter Tracy. He kneels to the ground and places the bundle gently into her lap. She turns her down-turned eyes up and looks lovingly into her grandfathers’ eyes and a small stream of tears roll down her cheek. In the background, you can hear approving mummers of the people. He turns walks back to his seat and sets down. The white man, John looks into the eyes of his friend, Bill with a surprised and confused look.

After the ceremony Bill Spotted Eagle and John are setting in the Bill’s kitchen, around an old Formica and chrome dinning room table, drinking a cup of coffee. John says, " Bill I have been coming here for two years and you have been teaching me about the ways of Spirit" " I have learned how you live, about your understanding of nature, about the medicine ways of your father but tonight my understanding went out the window." " Any medicine I have learned I learned from you." " The ways of your people I have learned from you." " But tonight I am totally confused." " You are his eldest, you understand the Medicine ways better than any one here, yet he passed over you and picked your niece, she is just his helper." " He should have picked you." " I just don’t understand?" Bill looks long and deep into John’s eyes and does not speak for a moment. John squirms under that gaze he knows so well. " My brother, I invited you here tonight because I knew this would be Big Medicine for you." " You are at the main crossroads of the differences between the "way of your society" and "how we are".  " In your walk you aspire!" "If you apply yourself you can become anything you want." "You are taught that you can overcome any limitation you are born with." " You are taught that you are broken in places and that these places can be fixed." " In your schools you are all taught the same things in the same way, if you don’t understand math, you are taught that with enough applied effort this can change." " We believe we are born to this earth who we are! And are the way we are" " We know who we are and we know who we aren’t." " You on-the-other-hand spend a life time looking at who you aren’t." " Your life is just the carrot on the end of the stick." " Understand that the carrot is just a nasty and dried up thing you don’t want ." " Bill, you went to school and became a teacher." " You’re absolutely right but understand I am a teacher! and this is what I do!" " but even to teach my own people I must be certified." " But don’t you see Bill, you are the teacher, you should be The Medicine Man!" " I teach about medicine work I don’t do Medicine Work." " Tracy does Medicine Work!" "You are always searching for that person you just can’t quite find." " But there are many people in your society whose sense of self is so strong that they find their Way in spite of the way they were taught." " They are very lucky!" "So Bill, you’re saying that I must only be who I am?" "That seems to limit me" " Isn’t there much more we can be and aren’t we bright lights that need to shine?" " John, always seeing your limitations and always trying to Fix them are your true Limitations." " When your face is turned away from who you are because you are afraid that who you are isn’t much, in truth who you aren’t isn’t much and you’ve confused the two all these years." "Then Bill, I don’t have a clue as to who I am do I?" "You’re here aren’t you John?" "But I don’t even have a clue Bill, about where to start looking for myself I just do not have a clue." "John, you have to be like the hawk, circling above the earth." "Most of the time they observe the scene below." " They are the observer." "Until they swoop down on their prey they are unattached to the world." " Begin to observe what you do, how you do it, and what do you do well and don’t do well and accept both." " For the first time truly admit you really don’t have a clue and admit that picture of who you think you are and know so well and don’t like so much is in truth is the person you’ve become while looking for who you’re not." " In other words accept that the picture of who you think you are and that person you’ve always wanted to become as false!" " These thoughts are chaos Bill, how can I possibly survive them?" "You won’t John!" " It’s like standing on a cliff Bill, a thousand feet high and looking down knowing I must jump!" " Then Jump!" " But I am afraid." " Good!"

A few months later during a hot stretch of late summer John and Bill were driving in bills old pickup, down a long dusty, narrow and rutted dirt road marked only by the section line cross roads on their way to visit an old uncle of Bills. And John began telling Bill about this vivid dream he had had some weeks earlier.

"Out of an ancient woods I walk into a meadow and I feel the change from the damp dimness of the giant old Trees whose heavy leafed limbs almost blocked out the sun, into the bright light airiness of the meadow. The meadow was surrounded by the old forest and was full of sweet smelling grasses and wild flowers whoes scent followed the light breeze. In the middle of the meadow was an old, old oak tree whose lower limbs, them selves as large trees, were pulled by their own weight almost to the ground. As I walked through the meadow I could see before me a round bare circle of earth compacted by the feet of the many who had, for generation after generation, danced there. In the middle of the dance ground  was a huge fire pit whose depths seem to reach deep into Earth Mother herself. Around the dance circle were stones and old logs that have been placed there for those who would watch or rest. As I stood there I could feel the beat of the drums and almost see swaying bodies of the dancers and hear rattles on their legs. I felt their joy!  But my purpose was not within the dance, I turned and faced the tree and I knew this ancient one represented Earth Mother  herself. Her limbs like great arms encircled this the dance ground and embrace me with nurturing wisdom. As I clamored onto a lower limb I could see that it would be easy to climb up into the heart of her. I reached a place where bark has been worn by many before me, a place I would be able to recline and spend some time. As I lay there nestled, I looked and I saw the macrocosm lay out before me. I saw squirrel’s, birds, snakes and bugs going about their busy lives paying me no heed. I saw the whisper of wind, like spirit beings in the movement of the leaves, the buzzing of nature going about its own way. I saw the Way of IT.  The Suns shining energy on the leaves cleansing the exhausted air. I felt the roots of her reaching deep within the Earth pulling up her energy and pushing her living essence up, giving it to the sky. I felt myself dissolving into the beingness of this old one………………..She spoke!!

"I have called you here to feel, see but mostly to hear…… Since human birthing out of the muck, I have watched you survive". "Time has brought about many changes in your way of thinking". "I watched you go from the hunted to the hunter". "I’ve watched you go from the cave to towers in the sky". "Where once you were few now you are many". "I have watched you crawl, scratch, struggle, gouge and change my face for the advancement of humankind". "I have seen kindness, greed, gentleness, love, peace and war". "I have watched religions grow out of the legends of spiritual beings". "I have seen tribes, villages, towns, cities, countries and nations rise and fall". "I have watched the innocent preyed on". "I have seen you look for the good but expect the bad in others". "It has been a journey…… indeed".

I felt a surge in her energy. I under stood her collective "you-s" and my personal "you-s"

"Many of you have come here with the same questions" "What is life all about, why are we polluting and destroying our environment and ourselves and what can I do"………."? You have already started the journey of doing and the answer lies within you". "All of the "whys" you see before you represents an immense impossible looking mountain to climb". "The answer has nothing to do with the mountain". " The mountain only seems to need climbing". "The answer is much simpler, though difficult to achieve". "Within you is a Spirit that is connected to the spirit being of all". Your Spirit though universal, is your own". "It is unique!!" "How you walk-with-in-it is the important thing for you to remember". "You were born with talents and limitations". "You must see and understand how vital in this time, in this place all of this is for you". " As you have been told most people spend so much time looking at who they aren’t that they do not have a clue as to who they are". You because of the work your doing you are beginning to have a glimmer of understanding. How you understand of this point is Vital". Once you understand and accept all your talents and all your limitations the world will be seen by you through different eyes"!!!!!!!!!………..

I herd her and felt so alive and I knew she is truth! I could feel her life’s sap flowing through every part of my body………But?????…..How do I achieve this?????

"You DON’T …achieve anything"!!!!!!! "You have always been focused on "the Goal." "No matter how hard you chase it, it will always be the same distance". "Achieving goals is focusing your vision outside of yourself". "A goal by it’s vary nature is always somewhere, somebody, or something outside of your moment". If you understand and have a clear view of who you really are and who you "really" aren’t, opportunities, events and people will appear as if by magic". "In the tribal days the aunts and uncles took on the training of their nieces and nephews which within it’s self is important". "The elders, had the important role, they watched". They could see what these children could do well and not so well". One may have been a mediocre hunter but a excellent flint knapper". " There was no shame".

"I understood, I could not spell and have been embarrassed by this for years". "But now I just can’t spell, thank God for spell checkers".

"Ah Ho"!

"Can this understanding change the world"?

"It can"! "But understand "This way of thinking is not a revolution, it is an evolution"". "A single stone thrown into the water will cause waves that will eventually reach the shore". "When a you understand and know these things, the people and creatures around you will notice and will be attracted to this way of being". "These waves will also reach the shore".

"What about ecological disaster and war"???

"Global Warming eh!………………………..If three or four very large volcanoes were to go of at the same time I’ll show you global change. I’ll show you an ice age". " I don’t mean to be crass, I only need to show you the truth". This globe, my body is much more complex than your own body". "The time you have been observing the weather systems is but a blink of an eye ". "Even the Sahara will bloom again, in its own time". Do you pollute the waters, gouge great holes, cut down whole forests and spew tons of carbon monoxide into the air"? "You bet……..But again over eons of time these things have little meaning". "But all the life on my surface are my children and your lack of understanding has great bearing and weight with me". "If you drink from a polluted stream will you not become sick"?……..Again if left alone the water, over time, will again run clear but you over time will either become sick or will have to mutate to survive". You are very close to your aboriginal roots. And you can still hear me calling to you". All aboriginals can hear me and the Great Spirit calling to them". "Our message is not to stop the polluting". "Ours message is, that by seeing your truth and living it, that this will make the difference". There are many of you whose aim in life is and will always be the accumulation wealth, power and growth at all cost". " The people who see the foul waters and the sickness it can cause, become rightly fearful but have over reacted by beating Big business and government over the head. Understand if someone were to beat you over the head every day how would you react. It has become a war of wills. My heart goes out to the people who wish to right things.  But my main concern is the peace in their own hearts.  If a person lives in anger even if their cause seems good, they by battling with the polluters have embittered themselves and all they can see is the sickness around them. As strange as it may sound these people  must turn away from the battle and find peace within their own hearts. From that place of peace they will still see the pollution but not the polluters." "Most importantly they will see new easy ways to clean the pollution." The polluters are beyond our message and they will not magically one day wake-up, they have been with us always." "Among you, there are those who will show them how to profit by cleaning-up" "They must see the profit." The great tree shuddered slightly and became silent. I knew that for now and I was to leave and to return at some later date

As I was leaving she spoke again. "In parting." She said "Always remember you set on top of a gene pool that reaches all the way back into the understanding".

Bill shook his head mumbled some thing like………Ho and drove on.